Do you know anyone whose “real” life began at 70 and whose life is still expanding at 80? If not, you soon will!
My big dream started at age four. A doctor hurt me so badly that I decided I wanted to become a doctor who would never hurt anyone. I have now been a doctor for more than 55 years and my dream is still expanding.
I am passionately living the life I love.
I want to share with you that life is long and you’re never too old to learn. It’s very important to realize that anger can be a catalyst for good only if it helps us locate and overcome problems. Anger should be directed at the problem and never at oneself or others.
When I reached 70, patients were saying to me, “You should be retired,” which angered me. I have a mission statement: “I’m going out of this life still growing and learning.” I kept learning, and by 75, my patients were saying, “We need you! Don’t retire!”
My family emigrated from Holland to Australia in 1939 when I was 10. We had nowhere to live until a war veteran of 62 took us in and provided for us. Sadly, this family friend secretly abused me, resulting in nightmares for two years. After this incident, we moved to Sydney, where my father joined the Air Force.
When I was 13, he had a terrible accident that permanently paralyzed him and affected his speech. He was tremendously frustrated and became mentally ill. Our family suffered as he was certified, paroled and discharged, causing the whole saga to be repeated.
During my teenage years, my favorite expression was, “Joie de Vivre.” I longed for the “Joy of Living.” I was my mother’s “right hand,” dependable, studious and energetic. Yet, something was always missing—I was too inwardly focused. It has taken me a long time to see that life doesn’t revolve around me, which is such an important lesson.
At age 13, I sewed, studied and worked jobs. Yet, I was lonely and always seeking approval and acceptance. I was a human “doing” rather than a human “being.” I still wanted to be a doctor and loved to read medical biographies.
By age 15, I visited a doctor who constantly told me, “Medicine is no career for a woman!” This was terribly discouraging! This was during WWII and I wanted to be on the front line comforting and healing the troops while preparing for science or psychology.
I didn’t believe in myself and I felt others knew better. My mother was of a tolerant nature, but my father was strict and religious. I greatly feared him and gradually grew to hate him. I was always respectful, but by the time I started college, I became an atheist. I was deeply angry inside, but I masked that even from myself.
It has taken me decades to learn to be emotionally sincere. I enrolled in the university in 1946, and planned to study science, but when I reached the counter, I blurted out “medicine” and went home jubilant. There were very few women among the 650 medical students.
For class, I was paired with a very needy Jewish escapee named Peter from Vienna. By Med 2, he and I had entered a foolish five-year engagement. I was needy and eager to please. In Med 3, I broke off the engagement on two separate occasions because Peter threatened to commit suicide.
Unfortunately, I failed Med 3. To repeat the class meant I had to earn money by working in a factory by day and waitressing by night. I really wanted to be doctor and I held on to that throughout all the drama. I managed to get a class credit in medical finals despite my father’s passing away in the middle of five weeks of exams in 1952. I was finally on my way to being a doctor.
In 1950, I fell in love and was engaged. I became pregnant but was compelled by my fiancé to have an abortion. I felt like a lamb being led to the slaughter. We were both medical students and pregnancy was forbidden. We married in 1953, but it wasn’t a good relationship.
We had a son in 1954 and I became pregnant again in 1958. I also became inwardly suicidal. Why? Because four days before our second son was born, I discovered my husband’s infidelity. I felt I had to leave him despite the low status of women, no social security and little suitable work.
I was an admired doctor but was utterly lost inside. I was in survival mode for five years trying to support two babies and work all while dealing with the pain and unanswered questions. My confidence was shattered.
I don’t know what would have happened if I hadn’t found Jesus Christ.
At about 1:30 p.m. on Feb. 22, 1959, at the age of 30, I was radically saved by God, converted and changed. I learned to laugh. Medicine no longer controlled me. God gave me the strength to live through those tough, lonely years as a single, working mother.
In 1972, I married my very best friend. He was a Christian and I felt truly loved. I had a country medical practice and newfound confidence. From 1978 to 1990, we built a mission vessel and made it our home. We did medical and mission work in the South Pacific. I endured awful seasickness, but I loved seeing the wider world.
It was all wonderful until I discovered that for the past eight years, my husband had been unfaithful with a female crew member who called us Mum and Dad. It was devastating because she was 40 years younger than me! After this, I returned to land and resumed work in traditional medicine, heartbroken by life and still desperately seeking that “Joie de Vivre.”
Finally, at age 70, I came out of a 40-year “identity wilderness.” All my knowledge of God and forgiveness became real and I could see God as the loving father I never had. This opened the doorway to alternate medical work.
I learned to focus on health, not disease. So, what next?
At 76, I was diagnosed with cancer in the right breast. I felt divinely led to forego an operation. There is still a tumor in my breast four years later, but it has not spread.
My new focus is life, purpose, health, nutrition, exercise, sun, forgiveness and supplements.
I have continued to work, sharing all I have learned along my journey. Cancer has been a springboard to better medicine. The God I dismissed in my youth has become my strength, help and inspiration.
To be an excellent doctor, one must focus on health, continual learning, forgiveness and leading by example.
Very few dare to tell me they are over the hill or past their prime. At 80, I am full of life, learning more every day and loving it. Never give up on yourself.
Find your dream, and with God’s help, live it!
Dr. Ruth Diamond
